Sunday, November 3, 2013

A Huge Adoption Myth

November is National Adoption Awareness month!

Our family has been hugely blessed by adoption and we're very grateful for it. We're also so grateful for our open relationship with our son's birth mother. What a true blessing open adoption is! I am grateful our son will know where he comes from and have his own relationship with his biological family. 

However, there are still a lot of misconceptions about adoption. I wanted to clear up a big one. 

Myth: Adoption takes babies from poor girls and takes advantage of their situation. 

Our blog recently received a comment from someone we don't know expressing their disgust with us and with adoption. 

I wanted to clear up one of their accusations. Which is that: adoptive couples take babies from poor girls who have no support and then leave them on their own, alone. 

I cannot speak for every adoptive couple out there. I don't know them all. And if I'm honest I'm sure there are some who have become a little mercenary in their desperation to become parents. 

But I can speak for my husband and I. And I feel like I can speak for the many adoptive couples I do know. 

We do not look for pregnant women to ask them to give us their baby. 
We would never dream of doing such a thing. The thought is sick. 

Adoption is not the only path to parenthood that infertile couples can pursue. Modern medicine and foster care are also great choices. For us, we felt led to adoption through our prayers. So that is the path we are taking. 

We would never dream of manipulating anyone into giving us their baby.  

Instead we look for those who have already decided to place their baby for adoption and are now searching for a family. We invite those women to look at us. To get to know us. To see if we are what they're looking for. 

Deciding to place your child for adoption must be one of the most heart wrenching and hardest decisions to make that I know of. Each woman is led to this decision for different reasons. 

We admire them. 
We applaud their courage. 
We respect them. 
And we would never dream of taking advantage of their emotions or situation. 

To our family, adoption is about love. God loves the birth mother. He loves the baby. He loves our family. He knows each of his children. He knows each of us. I truly believe He helps these brave women and leads them to the right adoptive family for their child. I also believe that God brings the right woman and child into our lives. Our life has been so enriched by knowing our son's birth mother. I can only hope that will continue as we grow our family.

When we ask our family and friends to help spread the word, we mean that we are seeking for the birth mother out there who has decided to place and is also seeking us. 

To learn more about how open adoption works, here is a list of some of my favorite adoptive parents:
Jewls and her family

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