I'll answer honestly, we're working through it. And by we, I mean mostly I'm working through my tumult of emotions and Gavin is being hugely supportive, patient, and an overall sweetheart.
Everything happens for a reason. It's been hard but I'm learning a lot of lessons.
I've learned that even though our family is not complete in number, that's no reason to hold off being the family/mother I want to be. I feel like in some ways I held off certain traditions, family practices, even things I can do as a Mom until our family was complete. I am trying now to embrace the now, even as I (impatiently) wait for the rest of our children to join us.
I'm learning that it's ok to admit defeat. To admit struggle. I always thought that admitting I was having a hard time meant I was not strong. This is teaching me that pain makes one strong. And that it's ok to ask for help from others. I'm also learning it's ok for others to see me struggle. Tough stuff, but I'm learning!
I wish I knew when our next child was coming. But I don't. I do know that it will be very special when it happens. Nathan is so excited for Baby Holt to come and to be a big brother!
|practicing his big brother skills!|
He is such a great example to me of pure faith.
We are still praying daily to find our Baby Holt. We continue to ask for your help in spreading the word that we are adopting. Thank you for all your support for our family!