Friday, July 30, 2010

Between a rock and a hard place

Everyone knows when you undergo the miracle of adoption that you're going to fall in love with the Baby. It's a given. But what about when you love the birth mother?

Right now I'm having a hard time with the realization that once the baby's born I won't get to see E anymore. There'll be no more Dr's appointments or visits planned etc because we all agreed that we wouldn't do visits once the Baby was born, for his sake.

But this has all taken me completely by surprise. I had hoped to like the birth mother and be friends but this is something else entirely and I'm afraid I'll cry tears when more distance is created between E and I. (Except for late night texting!) I know its for his sake; I don't think we want to cause him any confusion or conflicting emotions before he's old enough to understand our different roles in his life. But I can't help but selfishly wish that it didn't have to be that way. That she and I could hang out like normal Mommy friends with our babies. We're both so comfortable in our roles and callings in this little guy's life that there's no awkwardness. But I guess its not really fair to push that on him. Does anyone have any advice?

It would be a lot easier if I only liked E. But I freakin' love her. I've rarely felt so close to a person before. She's as close as a sister. The thought of never seeing E again makes me want to cry. So that leaves me either with us pushing Baby into possible confusion (not a good idea) or me hanging out with her alone. Hmm, this could be a good idea yes? I dunno.

Again, any thoughts O' Cyber World of Adopting Parents?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hey Soul Sister!

Ok everyone, I have an important announcement to make.

E & I would like to announce that we're Soul Sisters

Yeah, that's right. Soul Sisters. As in Train's "Hey Soul Sister"!

Not only do we have the whole being in love with Baby Bob in common, but a trillion of the basic personality quirks, likes, and traits that constitutes a Soul Sister. ahem. Let me give you the lay down here ;)

1. love of pizza rolls
-for those who know me you know how much Totino's pizza rolls owns my soul
2. love of antiques and Victorian houses
-if you were to break my soul like a puzzle a huge piece belongs to these 2 loves!
3. addicted to milk
-yeah, I seriously need a milk fix every day. I thought I was wacko. Thank you E for being wacko with me lol!
4. a sincere conviction that our souls are hispanic haha!
-pretty much since I discovered spanish music, dancing, the language, and Cafe Rio I've been convinced there was a Rosa or Rosita in my family tree somewhere. Maybe I am Rosita. But hidden in a pale white skin. E is the exact same way lol! Love it!
5. The desire to paint an accent wall in POLKA DOTS
-are you kidding me?! I found someone else like me that wants a polka dot wall?!? Unreal!
6. Same taste in movie genres
-no scary movies for us! blech!
7. being hyper sensitive to meanness
-yeah, we can't watch or read about it. No way. She saw Shiloh as a little girl and cried. I cry at all movies when life or people isn't being nice to someone. Go figure. I thought I was uber over sensitive. But she is too!
8. Verbage and phrasology.
-sometimes its weird for me to get a text from her that I at first think I sent it to myself on accident, lol!

Thank you E for making me feel somewhat normal ;)

In all seriousness I thank my Father in Heaven for blessing us with E. I had hoped that our lil angel's birth mom would be someone I could be close to. No effort needed with E! Love her to death!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Once Upon a Time...

Ok its finally story time! I'm so sorry I've not kept up my blogging. For those of you who are parents you know how crazy the prep time can be, but now take that 9 months and shrink it to 2! lol

So since all great stories (or the ones I like) start out with "Once Upon a Time..." I figured this one should too!

So, Once Upon a Time:

There was a boy and a girl, we'll call them Gavin & Shauna. They were big nerds but really wanted to experience the joy of parenthood. However, when they placed their order for a baby they incorrectly chose the wrong shipping method; they chose UPS and not FedEx! They were sadly informed that their baby would take a lot longer to get to them as a result.

Not deterred by lame UPS, Gavin & Shauna decided to continue to prepare themselves to be parents so that they would be ready no matter when their Little One arrived. 

Meanwhile, there was a girl we'll call E. E was beautiful, smart, and essentially awesome. She was blessed to conceive pretty much the most perfect little boy I'm sure there ever will be. E fell in love with him and wanted to give him the world. She especially wanted him to have a great role model of a father. She asked her close family friend, who is an attorney who's done many adoptions-including hers, to find the perfect couple for her lil guy.

The attorney talked with many couples. One day he was looking at his daughter-in-law's family blog and he saw a photo of Gavin & Shauna. It was our blog ad spreading the word that we were adopting. The Spirit told him these two were the ones and asked his daughter-in-law for our information.

One quiet Monday afternoon, I got a call from Gavin while I was at work. It was unusual because he never calls me at work. I took my cell phone to the hall and picked up. He told me an attorney had called him today and wanted to meet us that very evening if we could because he knew a girl who was looking for parents to adopt her baby. Oh and the baby was due at the end of August. And for some reason I thought I heard it was a girl. Uhm, of course let's meet with him! I said.

After work we nervously went to the attorney's office. I was all nervousness until I met the attorney. As soon as I saw his face I felt instant calm. We talked and agreed to meet the birth mother either Tues or Wed night. I found out she was having a BOY. I wonder if my face communicated the comical thoughts that went through my head when he said BOY. Instantly pink thoughts went away and in came the blue, the soccer cleats, and the football. I decided a boy was definitely ok :)  We walked away not daring to hope but feeling pretty excited at the possibility.

We met the birth mother, E, on Wednesday. I felt strangely calm all the way to the attorney's office. Gavin was nervous haha. Once I sat down and was waiting for her I started to feel nervous butterflies. Once she arrived I felt fine. Ok. Calm. Chill. (there will be moments in this story where words do not do justice to all feelings presented)

We all talked and it was decided that we would be the parents of this little boy. I can't even tell you the sweet warm feeling that came over me at that moment that we said Yes. I reached for Gavin's hand and we just held each other under the table. When they brought out the ultra sound photos it was a pure feeling of magic that went through me. Awe. Wonder. And Love. I couldn't believe this little guy was coming to us. I also fell in love with E. I left there pretty convinced that she had the cutest and most infectious laugh I had ever heard :)

We left the meeting and got in the car and were silent for a while on the drive home. It felt like one of those moments too special that talking would ruin it. I finally broke the silence and we expressed our joy in what had just happened and then I, ever practical lol, asked where were we going to eat dinner to celebrate? We went home first and thanked our Father in Heaven for this miracle. Then we gorged on Texas Roadhouse YUM!

After dinner we started making the rounds to our family's homes to spread our exciting news. And show off the ultra sound photos. I was convinced he was the cutest lil alien ever (b/c don't all babies look like aliens at first?)

It was all pretty surreal at first to be honest. It went from being surreal, to me being in shock (I had Gavin pinch me at dinner haha), to being sooo happy and in awe and wonder that this was happening. And I must say I was completely and entirely in awe of E. There is no doubt she loves this baby more than life itself. I can't wait to tell our son about the amazing woman that brought him to us.

So that's the story of how we were found and how this came to be in the works :)

5 more weeks!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Whats in a name?

Whats in a name?

TONS!

 "You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon doesn't have to do with the fact his last name is Bacon! You don't see people lining up to see a Kevin Hotdog movie." -Jim Gaffigan

Thank you Jim, well said :)

We are searching for the right name for our bebe. For instance, Butch. Who could possibly be serious naming their boy that? So it can't be a ridiculous name. It can't be a pansy name either. Like, Skipper or Lyle. It can't also be a name tied to a celebrity - Edward, Charlie (Charlie Brown), Brad, etc. We also don't want a name that its a gender neutral name - Taylor etc

I really like names that mean in Hebrew something about being a gift from God. Because he is our present from God (and an amazing woman) we feel.

There are a couple of names we're contemplating, but nothing definite yet! So for now, he remains Bob the Baby. I know I know, we need something better stat!

Gavin brought home the what to expect during your first year book yesterday. I've been reading and getting brain cramps I think. So much to learn in 49 days! (yes thats right, around 49 DAYS!)

One thing we have to do asap is choose our pediatrician for zee  baby. The last thing I want is to have to find a Dr when I need one b/c the baby is sick :\ That's not a good time to find a Dr.

We'll also be registering soon for baby stuff! People are starting to plan baby showers, so surreal!

Thanks again everyone for all the love, support, and prayers over the years! We're almost there! This has been an amazing journey and experience and we wouldn't trade any of it for anything!

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