Saturday, February 27, 2010

Cool Adoption Info

Hey everyone I found this information from are adoption manual and also other research that I thought that ya'll, my southerness coming out, would like and find interesting.

Common Terms Used and Terms That Shouldn't

Biological Parents: Parents of conception.
Natural Parents: Used often in legal settings. NOT a positive term since it implies that adoptive parents are "unnatural."
Birth father or birth mother: Used widely to describe parents of conception.
Genetic parent: Same as above.
Real father or real mother:
Terms used in society to describe biological parents. Not appropriate since they imply that adoptive parents do not act as "real parents".
Adoption Placement
'put up for adoption,' 'adopted out,' 'abandoned,' and 'give up a child.'
Appropriate term: 'Arranging for an adoption,' ' making a placement plan for a child,' 'arranging for a transfer of parental rights,' and 'making an adoption plan.'
This is from a handout by Tom Craner, LCSW, ogden, UT Agency.

Do's and Don'ts


1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, 'social background, etc.
3. Do remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.

1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own." Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child!"
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are comfortable sharing.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A long post, but I bought books!

We love to read and its very important in our home to have good books, and plenty of them. Look what I bought! I already had some books for our child (obviously when they're a bit older) but I couldn't resist getting these at our local DI last weekend. I love children's books!

the Shake a Leg one w/Elmo is really cute. It has you do all these actions, like shaking your leg, waving your arm, etc. I could just imagine our lil one doing this and laughing
Dr Seuss=Classic, just Classic
my favorites: they're so vintage-y, I love it!

Now for more updates:
Things are going well, all things considering. We should finally be officially approved by LDSFS this upcoming Monday. We have been waiting since Christmastime!! One thing after another happened (on the agency's side)but now things are finally looking like they'll be taken care of. Wouldn't you know it we'd get the luck of chaotic transitions? (There'll be a total partay once we get the call that we're officially approved on Monday, believe me. I may buy balloons)

Last night I got a call from my Gavin's oldest sister who's doing Foster to Adopt through the state. Apparently her sister-in-law works for a private adoption agency and called to say there was a baby girl at the hospital who needed a family. Her birth mother had signed her rights away and the father was in prison. Though we didn't feel like this was our daughter I can't describe to you what it felt like knowing if I wanted to, I could have become a Mother last night. It was incredible. I can't wait to experience the real thing.

One thing that made me sad is that the birth mother didn't want anything to do with the baby. Working through our adoption process I've felt like open adoption would be a wonderful experience. Of course we'll respect the mother's wishes when we arrive there, but we both feel it would be great to keep in contact with the birth mother. 

Today I've done a lot of networking and found more blogs of amazing couples trying to adopt. We've exchanged blog buttons and I joined, a truly wonderful site! It's been a great day. Doing things like this make me feel proactive, productive, and closer to the lil one that's coming.

This is where I turn to you: family, friends, and readers. The best way to adopt is through FOAF, or Friend of a Friend. Usually this means someone who knows us know someone who knows someone who's thinking about placing for adoption and they give that person our blog, etc. Get it? So please, tell everyone you know we are adopting! Feel free to share this blog, our contact information listed on the blog, etc. Post on your Facebook, blog, Twitter or whatever you use! Not sure what to say? You can copy this:

Gavin and Shauna are trying to build their family through adoption! Please take a minute to look at their adoption blog (

We'll be making cards to pass out too. If you're interested email us your address and we'll be sure to mail some to you!

Thanks everyone for your love and prayers! We hope Baby will be joining us soon!

Have a great night!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Something New!

Last night we were given our very firstest baby present!
How cute is this?!? Monkey bubbles!
It's not an infant toy but he/she will get to use it eventually! I thought it was soo sweet of our good friends to be so supportive and excited for us! Thank you guys! 

We talked to a family friend today whom I've known all my life and found out his two daughters (now in their teens) are adopted! I never knew! They all look so much alike! We're going to plan a get together with them. It'll be nice for us to hear the girls' side and feelings about adoption and for them to hear ours. We're excited and looking forward to getting together with them! 

I was emailing a friend this week who is also considering adoption. I thought I'd share some of what I wrote: 

"Adoption has been the most amazing experience of my life so far. Looking back on what's happened so far I can definitely see the Lord's hand and understand this is what I need right now in my mortal test. It wasn't my plan at all to adopt our first ... Going through LDS Family Services has been wonderful. Their main focus is building eternal families. We cannot wait for the day we get to go to the temple to be sealed as a family and have this little tiny hand over ours. Thinking of it brings tears, but happy ones! What I once considered a trial that was more than I could bear, is now my greatest blessing. I told Gavin last night that I wish I could spare any other woman the pain that comes from trying to conceive and not, but then I wouldn't deprive anyone the blessings that come from our trials or the blessing of adoption either. So I guess Heavenly Father knows what he's doing :) This is called the Plan of Happiness!"

Hopefully things will keep progressing as we try to find our baby. We'll be making our cards hopefully this week! If any of you would be willing to take some to pass out, please email me! Thanks!
Have a great week everyone!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

So sweet

I have to admit we were both expecting at least a few rude/insensitive people once we announced our plans to adopt, but we have been proven wrong! Everyone has been so sweet! Every day someone else says something encouraging and sweet about our adoption plans. We couldn't be more grateful!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Being proactive and excited! :)

It's February and January proved to be a very busy month. Over the past week we've gotten a lot of projects started to help us find our little baby. We get so excited with each new outreach to find them! Last week I talked to our first contact (we'll see if it leads anywhere!) and it was great practice in talking about what Gavin and I are doing. We also created this blog. Just having this blog makes me feel closer to our little one and the amazing birth mom we will get to meet someday! We love them both so much and can't wait to meet them! It's weird, to love 2 people you've never met. But we believe that birth mothers some of the most selfless people we've ever met or been priviledged to learn more about. We're in awe of them, seriously. We'll be creating a facebook group this week and designing our pass along cards! We're also shopping for a neutral infant carseat. How we've longed to be parents! We're so grateful for this experience. We cannot even describe all that we have learned throughout this nor the feelings of love we have felt from our Heavenly Father, for each other, and for these 2 amazing people that will be entering our lives.

Can't wait to share more news! Hope you all have a great week!


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